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2016, then
Dec. 31st, 2016 01:24 pm( 2016 in review. )
What I need to do in 2017: Challenge myself more. Get a good job, without letting myself get locked in myself, managing to keep talking to people. Slightly failing there.
What I need to do in 2017: Challenge myself more. Get a good job, without letting myself get locked in myself, managing to keep talking to people. Slightly failing there.
(no subject)
Jan. 31st, 2016 09:30 pm( 2015 in review. )
What I need to do in 2016: Be discrete, confidential, without letting myself get locked in myself, managing to keep talking to people. Slightly failing there.
What I need to do in 2016: Be discrete, confidential, without letting myself get locked in myself, managing to keep talking to people. Slightly failing there.
I've just (for given value of just) come from the Melville leavers' (or Valedictorian) dinner. I dressed up in my full kilt outfit for the first time since ... the James Bond night, when we hired the cinema and got Bond's car to put on a midnight showing of Casino Royale on opening night. Everyone else wore tuxedos. I argued that, as Bond was Scottish in Fleming's novels, it makes sense that a kilt counts as dressing up as Bond. That story sounds so cool in the retelling.
Ally, Jamie and I, along with the other three Melville lifers, Akins, and a couple of folks from our year who moved in this year, all had a good time, I think. Steve asked if us any of us wanted to share our wisdom and give speechs. Despite the fact I get nervous, speak too quickly and am overly hesitant when speaking publicly, I had a shot. I mainly emphasised the fact that I've done a lot of stupid things (no, really, it's unbelievable*), grown a lot, had some of my best friends ever, lost some, in Melville. I have loved and lost, I've grown from a shy kid with no social skills, self-confidence, knowledge of comics or pure mathematics and little of music to the extroverted geek I am nowadays. I've hurt a lot of people, which I'm truly sorry, and only can hope I've learned from my many mistakes. I don't know what the boy I was would think of the man (I suppose), I am now, but I hope it'd be good.
It's four years since we got here: back then the world and the country was a very different place. My hair was short, the chances of a Doctor Who revival seemed laughable, I couldn't grow facial hair, Micheal Schumacher was in the middle of the most dominant season of F1 ever, no one had heard of Youtube or Facebook, Tony Blair was Prime Minister, Alex Salmond had stepped down from leading the SNP, and the Tories were fielding a candidate who was generally considered laughable to get the highest political office in the next election. The world's changed a lot. So've we all. I am still in regular contact with about 2 or 3 friends I knew before I started here. I hope that in four years time, wherever I'll be (probably sitting in London as my funding runs out trying to write my PhD thesis, so similar to now), I'll still be in touch with as many of them as possible, and that more people I know now will become friends in that time, as has happened previously.
I'll miss Melville a lot - the five minute walk to lectures of a morning, the inimitable architecture, and possibly most (aside from the people), the view from the top table. It's worth living in a concrete monstrosity to get that view of a morning.
I forgot to say a lot when I spoke, as usual. I didn't thank everyone, which I needed to do, to wish everyone well. I forgot to extend invitations to anyone to visit me in London, or to get help with maths over the next few weeks. But that's always the way.
Listening to Jamie's wisdom (all karaoke-related) and other speeches, I was reminded of how lucky I am. I really have messed up so much, and got myself into all the right places at all the right times. I'm massively privileged, and have recieved a lot of grace, over the years. [This is related to various things I've been thinking lately, much of which was focused this weekend.] But there's one thing I've been reminded of more than anything:
This is real. We're finishing uni in the next month. This is something one could consider scary. I'm a good student. I'm successful, and, (in the maths department, which is a big caveat) relatively popular. According to Facebook's compare people, I'm also apparently cool, but I really can't believe it.
Now, back to the dissertation that I wrote 50 pages for in one 12-day sitting, before taking the weekend off in style. There's quite a lot to be done. Tonight I've had a taste of how all those marking my stuff must feel --- Arthur was getting me to look over his stuff.
And, once again, I'm hugely grateful, this time to Martyn, who's been wonderful to me, and I really wish, in a way, that he was going to be my PhD supervisor. This whole project would be nowhere if I'd not got him.
*No, really. Off the top of my head "'You're not psychotic enough' is not a challenge", "Don't walk on the rocks in the dark alone", "if you do, don't go jumping", "Don't keep butter in your room until it festers", "Don't spend two hours of your all-nighter writing lj entries when you've got to hand in your dissertation in two days", "Don't get a seat on a sleeper train to London and the late night train back the same day, with no rest", "If you do, don't eat a prawn sandwich that's been in your backpack all day on the way back", etc.
Ally, Jamie and I, along with the other three Melville lifers, Akins, and a couple of folks from our year who moved in this year, all had a good time, I think. Steve asked if us any of us wanted to share our wisdom and give speechs. Despite the fact I get nervous, speak too quickly and am overly hesitant when speaking publicly, I had a shot. I mainly emphasised the fact that I've done a lot of stupid things (no, really, it's unbelievable*), grown a lot, had some of my best friends ever, lost some, in Melville. I have loved and lost, I've grown from a shy kid with no social skills, self-confidence, knowledge of comics or pure mathematics and little of music to the extroverted geek I am nowadays. I've hurt a lot of people, which I'm truly sorry, and only can hope I've learned from my many mistakes. I don't know what the boy I was would think of the man (I suppose), I am now, but I hope it'd be good.
It's four years since we got here: back then the world and the country was a very different place. My hair was short, the chances of a Doctor Who revival seemed laughable, I couldn't grow facial hair, Micheal Schumacher was in the middle of the most dominant season of F1 ever, no one had heard of Youtube or Facebook, Tony Blair was Prime Minister, Alex Salmond had stepped down from leading the SNP, and the Tories were fielding a candidate who was generally considered laughable to get the highest political office in the next election. The world's changed a lot. So've we all. I am still in regular contact with about 2 or 3 friends I knew before I started here. I hope that in four years time, wherever I'll be (probably sitting in London as my funding runs out trying to write my PhD thesis, so similar to now), I'll still be in touch with as many of them as possible, and that more people I know now will become friends in that time, as has happened previously.
I'll miss Melville a lot - the five minute walk to lectures of a morning, the inimitable architecture, and possibly most (aside from the people), the view from the top table. It's worth living in a concrete monstrosity to get that view of a morning.
I forgot to say a lot when I spoke, as usual. I didn't thank everyone, which I needed to do, to wish everyone well. I forgot to extend invitations to anyone to visit me in London, or to get help with maths over the next few weeks. But that's always the way.
Listening to Jamie's wisdom (all karaoke-related) and other speeches, I was reminded of how lucky I am. I really have messed up so much, and got myself into all the right places at all the right times. I'm massively privileged, and have recieved a lot of grace, over the years. [This is related to various things I've been thinking lately, much of which was focused this weekend.] But there's one thing I've been reminded of more than anything:
This is real. We're finishing uni in the next month. This is something one could consider scary. I'm a good student. I'm successful, and, (in the maths department, which is a big caveat) relatively popular. According to Facebook's compare people, I'm also apparently cool, but I really can't believe it.
Now, back to the dissertation that I wrote 50 pages for in one 12-day sitting, before taking the weekend off in style. There's quite a lot to be done. Tonight I've had a taste of how all those marking my stuff must feel --- Arthur was getting me to look over his stuff.
And, once again, I'm hugely grateful, this time to Martyn, who's been wonderful to me, and I really wish, in a way, that he was going to be my PhD supervisor. This whole project would be nowhere if I'd not got him.
*No, really. Off the top of my head "'You're not psychotic enough' is not a challenge", "Don't walk on the rocks in the dark alone", "if you do, don't go jumping", "Don't keep butter in your room until it festers", "Don't spend two hours of your all-nighter writing lj entries when you've got to hand in your dissertation in two days", "Don't get a seat on a sleeper train to London and the late night train back the same day, with no rest", "If you do, don't eat a prawn sandwich that's been in your backpack all day on the way back", etc.
One More Time...
Feb. 10th, 2008 01:29 amI've been meaning to update this for ages...
First up, three weeks ago, I had my Oxford interview, which I was so worried about. And also worried due to my girlfriend going to hospital, while at home in Bath. With nasty disease names like Hepatitis, etc getting knocked about. So I'd not been able to see her and just cuddle and relax, and I'd been stressed about this and Oxford. But there were great points. The Friday beforehand, I had a great night over at James, Owain and Tom's flat with Paddy and Stewart. Then a brilliant evening for Edwin's 30th in the Cellar, where the nickname "Jonny's mistress" for Emily got started. I had a brilliant 3 hour chat with Nicholas, who'd had about the most positive-sounding interview ever there a week previously, after his exam about everything, we discussed maths and lots of things. He said on leaving "I'd wish you good luck, but you don't need it. You're smart enough and just need to not let nerves get to you and relax and enjoy getting to talk to these professors." I knew he was right. All I needed to do was not let nerves get to me for the interview.
So naturally, I let nerves get to me in the interview, which was rather soul-crushing. It wasn't a total write-off, but I definitely could and should have done a lot better. Then, after some time when I'd not been able to sleep for ages due to stress, I crashed out away from the world in a Youth Hostel, before setting off the next day to Bath to see Sophie, who was out of hospital, but still with massively inflamed liver, Tonsillitis and, it eventually transpired, some glandular fever. She spent most of the time asleep, and I only stayed there, in her mum's house, for one night before heading back, because she was A) sleeping most of the time and B) infectious, so there was little point in being there.
Here I'd like to go off and comment on how ... interestingly I seem to do with relationships. Sophie and I, having been on a few dates since the end of November got together 8 days before she went home for Christmas. She is now seeming to be so ill that she's still not come back, having missed her exams, with glandular fever and doctors panicking over her liver. She's currently awake about 4-5 hours a day, and very tired all the time. This relationship's in a weird sort of stasis, but increasingly it looks like I might just have to wait a few months to pick up where we left off. And the elephant in the room we've not mentioned is that we might not ever be in town together simultaneously again. But we might be. In the meantime, things are just sort of on hold. Please note how it seems that I can never ever succeed in having a non-long-distance relationship.
I spent most of the rest of the break worrying about how few friends I might end up with or have, getting pretty depressed, which I didn't notice until Soph pointed it out, and going to James' to play Halo 3 and Lego Star Wars, with Stewart and Torben.
Things have been kinda down, but I'm now remembering to try to think positively again. I'm really rather worried and getting quite a bit of anxiety lately about the end of uni, how many or few friends will stay in touch with me, how things are going to end up with Sophie, how I've not heard back from anywhere yet, how I've got a massive project which I've barely started and I'm not able to do written work. I've got a talk to give next week which I've not written. How I seem to have too much empathy with the characters from Peep Show. How the Wire's ending, along with a lot of things. That time's passing.
But...
I'm doing my best to try and get past it. Be happy that I've got so many good friends, so many I don't even have one big group. That I've got Sophie who seems grateful that I'm here and is there for me when she's able to. That I seem to now regularly have a cute goth girl curling over me every Wednesday night at Go Club, where I know heaps of people. That I know I can, if I work, do some OK maths, and don't know where my limit is. That I'm going to get a PhD place somewhere. That I'm going to see No Country for Old Men, which is apparently excellent, with friends on Monday. That exam results came through, and, well:
... I couldn't have asked for more, given I messed up a 5 mark question on the 50 mark exam for Finite by forgetting 6 isn't a prime number.
*I've been assured that the questions were set too easy for this, and I know it's true.
It actually somehow bumps my average up to 18.9, and now it shouldn't be too hard at all to get a first, as long as I don't really really screw up the project.
Really now, all I need to do is apply myself to my 55 credits of courses, try and developing writing skills for my 40 credit project, try and get an application off to Birmingham, wait and try not to worry about next year, work out if I could stand staying here and watching friends leave, write a talk to be given on Friday, develop public speaking skills, stay in touch with my friends, try and make relationships which have been neglected better again, and above all, enjoy my remaining time as an undergraduate. But not so much that I don't work
I'm not going to be as down as I was last semester. I'm going to be the nice guy I apparently can be. And look forward to quitting the pills when these exams are over. I've bought the semester's stationary for the last time. And may be broke.
This should be fun.
First up, three weeks ago, I had my Oxford interview, which I was so worried about. And also worried due to my girlfriend going to hospital, while at home in Bath. With nasty disease names like Hepatitis, etc getting knocked about. So I'd not been able to see her and just cuddle and relax, and I'd been stressed about this and Oxford. But there were great points. The Friday beforehand, I had a great night over at James, Owain and Tom's flat with Paddy and Stewart. Then a brilliant evening for Edwin's 30th in the Cellar, where the nickname "Jonny's mistress" for Emily got started. I had a brilliant 3 hour chat with Nicholas, who'd had about the most positive-sounding interview ever there a week previously, after his exam about everything, we discussed maths and lots of things. He said on leaving "I'd wish you good luck, but you don't need it. You're smart enough and just need to not let nerves get to you and relax and enjoy getting to talk to these professors." I knew he was right. All I needed to do was not let nerves get to me for the interview.
So naturally, I let nerves get to me in the interview, which was rather soul-crushing. It wasn't a total write-off, but I definitely could and should have done a lot better. Then, after some time when I'd not been able to sleep for ages due to stress, I crashed out away from the world in a Youth Hostel, before setting off the next day to Bath to see Sophie, who was out of hospital, but still with massively inflamed liver, Tonsillitis and, it eventually transpired, some glandular fever. She spent most of the time asleep, and I only stayed there, in her mum's house, for one night before heading back, because she was A) sleeping most of the time and B) infectious, so there was little point in being there.
Here I'd like to go off and comment on how ... interestingly I seem to do with relationships. Sophie and I, having been on a few dates since the end of November got together 8 days before she went home for Christmas. She is now seeming to be so ill that she's still not come back, having missed her exams, with glandular fever and doctors panicking over her liver. She's currently awake about 4-5 hours a day, and very tired all the time. This relationship's in a weird sort of stasis, but increasingly it looks like I might just have to wait a few months to pick up where we left off. And the elephant in the room we've not mentioned is that we might not ever be in town together simultaneously again. But we might be. In the meantime, things are just sort of on hold. Please note how it seems that I can never ever succeed in having a non-long-distance relationship.
I spent most of the rest of the break worrying about how few friends I might end up with or have, getting pretty depressed, which I didn't notice until Soph pointed it out, and going to James' to play Halo 3 and Lego Star Wars, with Stewart and Torben.
Things have been kinda down, but I'm now remembering to try to think positively again. I'm really rather worried and getting quite a bit of anxiety lately about the end of uni, how many or few friends will stay in touch with me, how things are going to end up with Sophie, how I've not heard back from anywhere yet, how I've got a massive project which I've barely started and I'm not able to do written work. I've got a talk to give next week which I've not written. How I seem to have too much empathy with the characters from Peep Show. How the Wire's ending, along with a lot of things. That time's passing.
But...
I'm doing my best to try and get past it. Be happy that I've got so many good friends, so many I don't even have one big group. That I've got Sophie who seems grateful that I'm here and is there for me when she's able to. That I seem to now regularly have a cute goth girl curling over me every Wednesday night at Go Club, where I know heaps of people. That I know I can, if I work, do some OK maths, and don't know where my limit is. That I'm going to get a PhD place somewhere. That I'm going to see No Country for Old Men, which is apparently excellent, with friends on Monday. That exam results came through, and, well:
| MT4513 | Finite Mathematics | 19.3 |
| MT5990 | Independent Study Module | 20.0* |
... I couldn't have asked for more, given I messed up a 5 mark question on the 50 mark exam for Finite by forgetting 6 isn't a prime number.
*I've been assured that the questions were set too easy for this, and I know it's true.
It actually somehow bumps my average up to 18.9, and now it shouldn't be too hard at all to get a first, as long as I don't really really screw up the project.
Really now, all I need to do is apply myself to my 55 credits of courses, try and developing writing skills for my 40 credit project, try and get an application off to Birmingham, wait and try not to worry about next year, work out if I could stand staying here and watching friends leave, write a talk to be given on Friday, develop public speaking skills, stay in touch with my friends, try and make relationships which have been neglected better again, and above all, enjoy my remaining time as an undergraduate. But not so much that I don't work
I'm not going to be as down as I was last semester. I'm going to be the nice guy I apparently can be. And look forward to quitting the pills when these exams are over. I've bought the semester's stationary for the last time. And may be broke.
This should be fun.
Tags:
( 2007 in review. )
So, 2007. It would've been a very good year, except for the fact that my parents were very ill for a lot of it, and the consequent break-up with Pamela. But mostly the parents being ill. It was crazy - the part where I was living in the maths department, the time we got chucked out of Nicholas's flat as his lease ran out while he was away, that insane trip to London I had, and the time I woke up in the sea are all stories that I'll probably tell people the rest of my life. This is the prime of my life.
Nonetheless, I like myself more, I'm wiser and stronger than last year. I'm still majorly messed up and have issues, but I'm a lot better, and have a lot of friends. And I know I can be a pretty good mathematician. And, importantly, that I'm not really that good a friend. Now just to avoid screwing it all up in 2008! First off: Don't screw up my easiest semester yet by not working hard enough for the one exam I have. Second: know everything I claimed to on my application for my Oxford interview. Third: Don't mess up my dissertation.
Will I do it? Place bets now!
So, 2007. It would've been a very good year, except for the fact that my parents were very ill for a lot of it, and the consequent break-up with Pamela. But mostly the parents being ill. It was crazy - the part where I was living in the maths department, the time we got chucked out of Nicholas's flat as his lease ran out while he was away, that insane trip to London I had, and the time I woke up in the sea are all stories that I'll probably tell people the rest of my life. This is the prime of my life.
Nonetheless, I like myself more, I'm wiser and stronger than last year. I'm still majorly messed up and have issues, but I'm a lot better, and have a lot of friends. And I know I can be a pretty good mathematician. And, importantly, that I'm not really that good a friend. Now just to avoid screwing it all up in 2008! First off: Don't screw up my easiest semester yet by not working hard enough for the one exam I have. Second: know everything I claimed to on my application for my Oxford interview. Third: Don't mess up my dissertation.
Will I do it? Place bets now!
It's good to be home.
Since getting back, I've settled into a house that's been completely redone, listened to the latest in my parents woes [both have now been off sick for the entire year, more or less starting in January, and my mum's consequently lost her job]. I've seen some old friends, discovered in conversation with David I do so many stupid things that I manage to forget things I really shouldn't be able to:
Me: "I keep doing stupid things to try and scare Sophie [new girlfriend] off."
David: "You put drugs in her locker yet?"
Me: "No... I know I should get that reference, but I don't..."
Ben : "It's a Six Feet Under Reference"
David: "No, it's a reference to when you put drugs in Kirsty West's locker."
Me: "Oh yeah... I can't believe I forgot about that."
David: "Why did you do that again?"
Me: "You know, that was never exactly clear..."
That conversation says a lot about me, and how weirdly I see the world at times - I possibly use lateral thinking too much. Or just don't quite have a strong enough filter for rejecting really stupid ideas.
Incidentally, my current plan for preparing any eventual Oxford D.Phil interview I'm hoping to get goes roughly "Throw all-nighters at it. Then, when that fails, wing it." More or less sums up my attitude to life, really.
This year's Doctor Who Christmas Special was more or less enjoyable, if blighted by the singular failing of having been written by Russell T. Davies. Aside from some horrible attempts to create humour from an alien culture's warped attempts to understand Earth, the utter tastelessness of basing it on a real life disaster* , the rather obvious equipping of someone with a teleporter to save them (although it didn't take the most obvious route with that), and the utter cheesiness of the ending. Oh, and the exchange rate really bothered me (5000 credits is so large a vone bill you'll never pay it off in twenty years, but 50 million credits is the equivalent of a million pounds, meaning the massive vone bill is 100 pounds). I realise that's utterly trivial, but I'm the sort of person who notices that sort of thing...
Christmas day was good - my family went over to our longtime friends the Bruno's, who we've been having Christmas with for a good bit over 6 years now. It was generally good, nice and relaxed, with a great game of Trivial Pursuit in the evening. I've realised that I'm incredibly annoying at that game, as I like showing off my intelligence and general knowledge, must try to avoid that.
For Christmas, I got a new leather jacket, Hot Fuzz on DVD, and other cool things.
( Cheesy picture of me in jacket )
I've just come back from the Kiehlmann clan's traditional yuletide gathering, which was excellent - a great chance to see the family and exchange gifts, etc. I got a copy of London Calling, which I'm ashamed to admit to having not owned till now. Hopefully the title is an omen for the new year. I chatted to my aunt's husband, Ian, who I get on with very well, late last night, and it was a wonderful discussion. He told me some things about my grandfather, who's been dead 13 years now, who I don't remember that well. It was really nice to hear him speak about his father-in-law, who he has a lot of respect and admiration for as a person, and I feel I know him a bit better now. We talked late, about all things important in life, largely revolving around 60's music, having had a small jam session in his music room earlier, and it was a very nice night.
I'm now, as my tradition seems to dictate, home alone, doing maths on Hogmanay. For some reason, I like this tradition. It serves to reflect on the year, focus oneself for the new year.
It's been a rather successful year for me, on the whole.
I like myself a lot more than I did this time last year. I'm more comfortable with myself, which is a very important thing. I just need to push myself a bit more and secure a good place for next year. This year should be good. And, really, in many ways, it's probably going to be neither as good, nor as bad, as this one.
2007's been a pretty good year.
I hope that 2008 is going to be as good as for me and everyone I care about. May it be filled with the dilemmas of your dreams!
*This wouldn't actually have bothered me if I hadn't been told, immediately before watching that some Titanic survivors had complained to the BBC that it seemed rather tasteless, and appeared to be making light of their tragedy. At that point I realised that it's an entirely valid point, calling the doomed liner The Titanic adds just about nothing to the episode, and the complaints are really utterly justified.
Since getting back, I've settled into a house that's been completely redone, listened to the latest in my parents woes [both have now been off sick for the entire year, more or less starting in January, and my mum's consequently lost her job]. I've seen some old friends, discovered in conversation with David I do so many stupid things that I manage to forget things I really shouldn't be able to:
Me: "I keep doing stupid things to try and scare Sophie [new girlfriend] off."
David: "You put drugs in her locker yet?"
Me: "No... I know I should get that reference, but I don't..."
Ben : "It's a Six Feet Under Reference"
David: "No, it's a reference to when you put drugs in Kirsty West's locker."
Me: "Oh yeah... I can't believe I forgot about that."
David: "Why did you do that again?"
Me: "You know, that was never exactly clear..."
That conversation says a lot about me, and how weirdly I see the world at times - I possibly use lateral thinking too much. Or just don't quite have a strong enough filter for rejecting really stupid ideas.
Incidentally, my current plan for preparing any eventual Oxford D.Phil interview I'm hoping to get goes roughly "Throw all-nighters at it. Then, when that fails, wing it." More or less sums up my attitude to life, really.
This year's Doctor Who Christmas Special was more or less enjoyable, if blighted by the singular failing of having been written by Russell T. Davies. Aside from some horrible attempts to create humour from an alien culture's warped attempts to understand Earth, the utter tastelessness of basing it on a real life disaster* , the rather obvious equipping of someone with a teleporter to save them (although it didn't take the most obvious route with that), and the utter cheesiness of the ending. Oh, and the exchange rate really bothered me (5000 credits is so large a vone bill you'll never pay it off in twenty years, but 50 million credits is the equivalent of a million pounds, meaning the massive vone bill is 100 pounds). I realise that's utterly trivial, but I'm the sort of person who notices that sort of thing...
Christmas day was good - my family went over to our longtime friends the Bruno's, who we've been having Christmas with for a good bit over 6 years now. It was generally good, nice and relaxed, with a great game of Trivial Pursuit in the evening. I've realised that I'm incredibly annoying at that game, as I like showing off my intelligence and general knowledge, must try to avoid that.
For Christmas, I got a new leather jacket, Hot Fuzz on DVD, and other cool things.
( Cheesy picture of me in jacket )
I've just come back from the Kiehlmann clan's traditional yuletide gathering, which was excellent - a great chance to see the family and exchange gifts, etc. I got a copy of London Calling, which I'm ashamed to admit to having not owned till now. Hopefully the title is an omen for the new year. I chatted to my aunt's husband, Ian, who I get on with very well, late last night, and it was a wonderful discussion. He told me some things about my grandfather, who's been dead 13 years now, who I don't remember that well. It was really nice to hear him speak about his father-in-law, who he has a lot of respect and admiration for as a person, and I feel I know him a bit better now. We talked late, about all things important in life, largely revolving around 60's music, having had a small jam session in his music room earlier, and it was a very nice night.
I'm now, as my tradition seems to dictate, home alone, doing maths on Hogmanay. For some reason, I like this tradition. It serves to reflect on the year, focus oneself for the new year.
It's been a rather successful year for me, on the whole.
I like myself a lot more than I did this time last year. I'm more comfortable with myself, which is a very important thing. I just need to push myself a bit more and secure a good place for next year. This year should be good. And, really, in many ways, it's probably going to be neither as good, nor as bad, as this one.
2007's been a pretty good year.
I hope that 2008 is going to be as good as for me and everyone I care about. May it be filled with the dilemmas of your dreams!
*This wouldn't actually have bothered me if I hadn't been told, immediately before watching that some Titanic survivors had complained to the BBC that it seemed rather tasteless, and appeared to be making light of their tragedy. At that point I realised that it's an entirely valid point, calling the doomed liner The Titanic adds just about nothing to the episode, and the complaints are really utterly justified.
In the time since I last got around to updating this, I've got a job at the local hotel, washing dishes and allegedly doing some bar work. It's a living. And I'm now down in Glasgow, staying in a flat which the family for some reason has for my sister who's starting uni. It's been good, seen Ally for the first time in too long [actually, it'd got to the point where I'd not seen anyone outside my family in two weeks, with people being away and so on. And my sister who's still in the UK only briefly, too]. And I'm behind on work I was planning to do and generally lonely and angsting about medication and my reliance on it/ if I'm abusing it or just ... enjoying the feelings at times. Generally trying to work stuff out and ending up doing nothing.
Anyway, I've been meaning for a while to write about ten of the most memorable times from the last year, as a general piece of pre-emptive nostalgia. Or just to remember the good times. So, anyway, here's ( ten moments from the last year I never want to forget )
It's been a good year, mostly. Goals for next year: get a [good] PhD place with funding, get a good first, have a good set of friends I'm still in contact with after uni.
Anyway, I've been meaning for a while to write about ten of the most memorable times from the last year, as a general piece of pre-emptive nostalgia. Or just to remember the good times. So, anyway, here's ( ten moments from the last year I never want to forget )
It's been a good year, mostly. Goals for next year: get a [good] PhD place with funding, get a good first, have a good set of friends I'm still in contact with after uni.
Mchecking for exam results has got to the point where I'm doing it and making it a joke to cover - Saying out loud "Hmm, I think I'll check foir exam results - sure the exam scripts are all sitting next door/sure, the marker's meeting's just down the corridor, but there's a chance" might just be a sign I've lost it. Since I've started talking to members of staff more, there's a lot you don't know about exam marking that I've found out...
I've discovered my long necked navy top and navy cords really need a beret - then I've got the perfect existentialist poet outfit. Where do you get berets anyway?
Things are still good, and I've now decided that I definitely want to study to get a PhD, and intend to work towards that for next year. Which takes me to 2010 before I really need to reconsider what I'm wanting to do with my life! Isn't it great? Although, where I go now should affect that decision...
I've discovered my long necked navy top and navy cords really need a beret - then I've got the perfect existentialist poet outfit. Where do you get berets anyway?
Things are still good, and I've now decided that I definitely want to study to get a PhD, and intend to work towards that for next year. Which takes me to 2010 before I really need to reconsider what I'm wanting to do with my life! Isn't it great? Although, where I go now should affect that decision...
Oh yeah. Exams are over. And I had incredibly luck, in that my glasses broke the morning of my exam, the day after I'd had the new glasses I'd ordered a month and a half earlier at Easter arrive. The exam was pretty nice, I enjoyed it a lot better than I'd thought. Rest of Wednesday was spent in Aikman's, with Owain, James and James's girl. Oh, and Nicholas was there for a while, as was Colin, an astronomer I know who's the president of the new GoSoc I'm now Secretary of. The Grammar of that sentence was brilliant, I'm aware. A general good afternoon was had by all, except when we got given heaps of bottles of free Carling 2%. It was awful, I'm told, "worse than piss or Tennants" was the phrase used, I believe.
So, another year over. It's scary. One year to go. Today I need to get packed up, move stuff to Nicholas's as best as possible, and try and arrange to get money for the summer sorted.
I much prefer it in exams when everything's focussed on one big goal to be achieved, rather than life being all confusing and all over the place without easily defined goals...
So, another year over. It's scary. One year to go. Today I need to get packed up, move stuff to Nicholas's as best as possible, and try and arrange to get money for the summer sorted.
I much prefer it in exams when everything's focussed on one big goal to be achieved, rather than life being all confusing and all over the place without easily defined goals...
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Two Years Later
May. 29th, 2006 02:00 pmIt's not summer.
It's not four years since world cup 2002 and my standard grades.
There's no way it's a year since last summer: we've never gone round the sun since I read Harry Potter in under three hours and Ally said it would make a great Neverwinter nights module. A year has never passed since I went to see U2 promoting Make Poverty History and saw Danii. It feels like going to T in the park and getting the wristbands which I'm still wearing was a couple of weeks ago.
Where does all the time go? It doesn't seem that long ago in first freshers week, about 20 months ago when Rach dumped me for the first time, and I ended up going out with Tom and everyone and meeting Elinor and Danii ... and Nicholas, Richard, Elinor and I were watching stuff in Richard's room, a group that would probably never be reassembled. I kept calling Nicholas 'Oliver', from some guy from the OC.
And now it's Two Years Later, and everything's changed. And nothing's happened. And I'm halfway through uni with next to nothing to show for it. Or maybe there is.
And hopefully exams will be up within the next couple of weeks.
I've made a lot of mistakes this last year or so, probably ruined a few friendships. The next two years should be interesting.
Hopefully I'll get more sleep, and focus more. And have more friends. Although, for all I do think I'm lonely, I've got about a dozen good friends in St Andrews, and a reputation as one of the good guys, it seems. Which is something, I suppose. I can't believe all the time that's gone. Here's hoping the next couple of years will be better. And this summer doesn't drag like the last two.
It's not four years since world cup 2002 and my standard grades.
There's no way it's a year since last summer: we've never gone round the sun since I read Harry Potter in under three hours and Ally said it would make a great Neverwinter nights module. A year has never passed since I went to see U2 promoting Make Poverty History and saw Danii. It feels like going to T in the park and getting the wristbands which I'm still wearing was a couple of weeks ago.
Where does all the time go? It doesn't seem that long ago in first freshers week, about 20 months ago when Rach dumped me for the first time, and I ended up going out with Tom and everyone and meeting Elinor and Danii ... and Nicholas, Richard, Elinor and I were watching stuff in Richard's room, a group that would probably never be reassembled. I kept calling Nicholas 'Oliver', from some guy from the OC.
And now it's Two Years Later, and everything's changed. And nothing's happened. And I'm halfway through uni with next to nothing to show for it. Or maybe there is.
And hopefully exams will be up within the next couple of weeks.
I've made a lot of mistakes this last year or so, probably ruined a few friendships. The next two years should be interesting.
Hopefully I'll get more sleep, and focus more. And have more friends. Although, for all I do think I'm lonely, I've got about a dozen good friends in St Andrews, and a reputation as one of the good guys, it seems. Which is something, I suppose. I can't believe all the time that's gone. Here's hoping the next couple of years will be better. And this summer doesn't drag like the last two.
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Has anyone seen this?
Does the grades-percentages ratio sound about right? If so, this could be useful.
Anyway, the Complex Analysis exam ... I passed, I'm pretty certain, but I messed up the exam: I should've done a good deal better.
To prepare, I'd done the previous four years' papers, and they'd all been the same format, with the lecturer we've got now. This year, they decided to change it, and no one can recall being told. I managed to fail to answer a heap of questions by running out of time, which was annoying, as I'd managed to do a past paper in about an hour forty, but couldn't finish about half the questions in two hours twenty this time. What's especially annoying is that I missed most of the final 8/50 mark question, which was a gift. I scribbled a few things down for it towards the end, but ran out of time, and can't have got more than a couple of marks there. And an answer like 25pi/864 for the previous question seems wrong, too.
Oh well, the grade doesn't actually matter. Unlike Monday. Which I am now revising for. I almost considered pulling an all-nighter again tonight, but that would be way too much. Hmm, 43 hours till exam. I prefer, however, the fact that exams are over for me in 46 and half hours maximum. This should be interesting.
Oh, and, with a little help from Niall, I've finally seen what everyone meant at the start of the year about Melville being worse this year. And, to be fair, I think they're right. No offence to new Melvillites: maybe it's just nostalgia, but the hall is a really different place to last year. I really hope we'll have some good folk staying here: most people I've spoken to seem to be going away.
So, does that grades-percentage table strike anyone else as roughly right?
Does the grades-percentages ratio sound about right? If so, this could be useful.
Anyway, the Complex Analysis exam ... I passed, I'm pretty certain, but I messed up the exam: I should've done a good deal better.
To prepare, I'd done the previous four years' papers, and they'd all been the same format, with the lecturer we've got now. This year, they decided to change it, and no one can recall being told. I managed to fail to answer a heap of questions by running out of time, which was annoying, as I'd managed to do a past paper in about an hour forty, but couldn't finish about half the questions in two hours twenty this time. What's especially annoying is that I missed most of the final 8/50 mark question, which was a gift. I scribbled a few things down for it towards the end, but ran out of time, and can't have got more than a couple of marks there. And an answer like 25pi/864 for the previous question seems wrong, too.
Oh well, the grade doesn't actually matter. Unlike Monday. Which I am now revising for. I almost considered pulling an all-nighter again tonight, but that would be way too much. Hmm, 43 hours till exam. I prefer, however, the fact that exams are over for me in 46 and half hours maximum. This should be interesting.
Oh, and, with a little help from Niall, I've finally seen what everyone meant at the start of the year about Melville being worse this year. And, to be fair, I think they're right. No offence to new Melvillites: maybe it's just nostalgia, but the hall is a really different place to last year. I really hope we'll have some good folk staying here: most people I've spoken to seem to be going away.
So, does that grades-percentage table strike anyone else as roughly right?
Where have all the bastards gone?
Jan. 9th, 2006 06:06 pmI just came back from a nice three hour chat with James, which was ostensibly on the maths exam we have, and certainly started there, but while I copied up some notes the topic meandered pleasantly into all that's wrong with the way that mathematics and English are taught at schools, before generally going all over the place. We did have a very nice discussion on how the use of different media affects something, and came up with a nice snappy version of the Civil war. Not exactly feeling better about exams, but good to see him again, and he did give me something else to worry about, in that we're talking about looking at flats. Which is terrifying, but in a good way, I suppose.
I seem to have become a special advisor on fire alarm matters: at breakfast today Steve asked me whether or not the days that the hall was empty should be counted in the number of days since the last fire alarm count. Of course, the answer is that dayswhen the building is empty shouldn't be counted, although if you're counting in months it's acceptable to count the portion of time the hall was empty. Counting in weeks is a grey area.
Otherwise, not been up to much, I had a marathon 12 hour session of copying notes in the study room last night to this morning, when Pete came through and showed me what he'd been working on while I did heavy revision for much time. He'd managed to make a motorised LEGO joint-roller. What he'd be capable of if he used his powers for good... I also finally found Parliment hall, thanks to my aunt who works in the town turning up at an opportune moment, which was doubly odd as I've not seen her around before. Mind you, given how little time I've spent in town, maybe it's not so surprising. I still don't see what earthly reason they have for carting all the people who get extra time in one hall, no matter what exam they're sitting, with a bunch of people doing different exams, seperate from those they know. Actually,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lordrosemount, do you know if there's any reason beyond saving effort of integrating people with learning difficulties into the exam halls?
Also my sister Fiona has earned special points for giving me a nice Fairtrade T-shirt for my birthday (even if it did arrive two months late). Now my hippie/political student looks is even more better: I have the wild hair, (which is apparently exactly the same as it was a year ago) the headband, the etc. And for a couple of months in the summer I even had a cause.
Anyway, revision progresses nicely, I pulled my second all-nighter of the year last night, and with plans for the third to be tomorrow, I should probably retire soon. With a bit of luck, I should be able to revise enough tomorrow to get a decent enough grade in the exam. And then two days revision for Complex Analysis on Saturday, as well as preparing for what is oddly my most important exam: despite the fact I'm doing my first honours modules, no attention will be paid to the grade. This means the only result that matters (beyond passes), is getting a 15 in MT2002 on Monday, which shouldn't be too hard, even if I have less changeover time. And I've just re-supplied. This is going to be interesting.
I'm in my element, after all. Most people haven't practiced all year at staying in and being anxious: I have a head start on everyone else. And then the two-week break, which I think is fast becoming my favourite part of the year, the concept if nothing else. Students at a loose end, without class to get in the way, it's like a fresher's week when everyone's already comfortable around each other, and a bit more low-key, which I always appreciate. Anyway, there must be DVD-nights in the LCR aplenty!
I seem to have become a special advisor on fire alarm matters: at breakfast today Steve asked me whether or not the days that the hall was empty should be counted in the number of days since the last fire alarm count. Of course, the answer is that dayswhen the building is empty shouldn't be counted, although if you're counting in months it's acceptable to count the portion of time the hall was empty. Counting in weeks is a grey area.
Otherwise, not been up to much, I had a marathon 12 hour session of copying notes in the study room last night to this morning, when Pete came through and showed me what he'd been working on while I did heavy revision for much time. He'd managed to make a motorised LEGO joint-roller. What he'd be capable of if he used his powers for good... I also finally found Parliment hall, thanks to my aunt who works in the town turning up at an opportune moment, which was doubly odd as I've not seen her around before. Mind you, given how little time I've spent in town, maybe it's not so surprising. I still don't see what earthly reason they have for carting all the people who get extra time in one hall, no matter what exam they're sitting, with a bunch of people doing different exams, seperate from those they know. Actually,
lordrosemount, do you know if there's any reason beyond saving effort of integrating people with learning difficulties into the exam halls?Also my sister Fiona has earned special points for giving me a nice Fairtrade T-shirt for my birthday (even if it did arrive two months late). Now my hippie/political student looks is even more better: I have the wild hair, (which is apparently exactly the same as it was a year ago) the headband, the etc. And for a couple of months in the summer I even had a cause.
Anyway, revision progresses nicely, I pulled my second all-nighter of the year last night, and with plans for the third to be tomorrow, I should probably retire soon. With a bit of luck, I should be able to revise enough tomorrow to get a decent enough grade in the exam. And then two days revision for Complex Analysis on Saturday, as well as preparing for what is oddly my most important exam: despite the fact I'm doing my first honours modules, no attention will be paid to the grade. This means the only result that matters (beyond passes), is getting a 15 in MT2002 on Monday, which shouldn't be too hard, even if I have less changeover time. And I've just re-supplied. This is going to be interesting.
I'm in my element, after all. Most people haven't practiced all year at staying in and being anxious: I have a head start on everyone else. And then the two-week break, which I think is fast becoming my favourite part of the year, the concept if nothing else. Students at a loose end, without class to get in the way, it's like a fresher's week when everyone's already comfortable around each other, and a bit more low-key, which I always appreciate. Anyway, there must be DVD-nights in the LCR aplenty!
Everyone else is doing cheery end of year memes. Never one to be swept along with the crowd, here's my ( depressing year-end meme! )
Out of interest, how many people didn't have a meal of leftovers yesterday?
Out of interest, how many people didn't have a meal of leftovers yesterday?
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I had an interesting MSN conversation with Richard, who evidentally doesn't know me. I was discussing my ongoing attempts to be as stereotypically geeky as possible. The following gem came up. Richard's appalling netspeak has been left in: forgive him, he is young.
Richard:y u after a gf if u wanna be geeky as poss?
Me:...Because I want a girlfriend generally. And don't geeks want gf's too?
Richard:ye, but geeks tend to be lacking in enough confidence to go near girls
Richard:stereotypically
Me:... And me?
Richard:and u?
Me:Right. Me. Confidence. Going near girls
Richard:u will be an ineffective stereotypical geek
Richard:so y bother even trying?
Me:... I'm asking if you've ever seen me with those qualities before
Richard:confidence and going near girls? not firsthand.
Richard:but ur near insanity means u most likely have few inhibitiona
Richard:inhibitions
Me:Bwa-ha-ha!
( much angst ensues )
Richard:y u after a gf if u wanna be geeky as poss?
Me:...Because I want a girlfriend generally. And don't geeks want gf's too?
Richard:ye, but geeks tend to be lacking in enough confidence to go near girls
Richard:stereotypically
Me:... And me?
Richard:and u?
Me:Right. Me. Confidence. Going near girls
Richard:u will be an ineffective stereotypical geek
Richard:so y bother even trying?
Me:... I'm asking if you've ever seen me with those qualities before
Richard:confidence and going near girls? not firsthand.
Richard:but ur near insanity means u most likely have few inhibitiona
Richard:inhibitions
Me:Bwa-ha-ha!
( much angst ensues )
Wikipedia has always been a great example of the power of the web: a free-source encyclopedia created and maintained collaboratively, with verified sources and freedom for anyone to edit the articles, and enough users to correct major vandlalism fast. It builds on the traditional concept of a encycolpedia, but availability of (effectively) inifinite publishing space, hyperlinks for the best cross-refencing ever, and a solid function allow it to be the next evolutionary step. A utopian mission statement, odd skewing of articles and general distrust by external sources seems to fill the last few criteria for typical internet entity status. At four years old, it's current state is interesting. There've been many webcomics recently up for deletion, as it previously had so many that it was seen to be including too unimportant ones. This brings up the question of notability. At the moment, the editors in wikipedia are enforcing a policy of deleting articles on the grounds of non-notability, which seems to have grown out of the idea of not having vanity articles, or simply being a webdirectory. Notability's very subjective concept, and hence it seems to go against their core prinicples of a neutral point of view and the idea that wikipedia should be a repository of all knowledge. Webcomics, in particular, are hard to gauge notability of, as they are entirely website based, while being, in general, utterly original fiction, which is, to an extent, self-published. Websites in general are hard to rank, with the most popular tool used on wikipedia being the Alexa rank. This is based on some software some people choose to put on their browser, which is spyware to rank the usage of webpaes. Wikipedia, at the moment, seems to be trying so hard to gain credibilty by having a more polished selection of articles. By doing this, a key portion of what makes it distinctive will be lost. There's also an underlying clash of principles here, as it seeks to refine it's initial utopian view of what it was into a more precise and realistic outlook. All the time, it's still not addressing an issue that caused a founder to leave: wikipedia's fundamentally anti-elitist. As it's entirely based online with utter anonymity people who are true experts in a subject are not given any increased status. This is a strength or weakness, depending on your point of view. All told, wikipedia's in its adolesence. I'm going to be interested to see how it matures.
Ah, the first intelligemt post in ages, and on Raisin Sunday, the uni's drinking holiday. Tonight I've been in bed on my laptop with headphones on, as a change of pace from the last two nights, and because people drinking bothers me. Fundamentally, it's because it makes them even less predictable than usual, and more like people I don't know, generally. And unpredictablity is one of the most scary basic things, tied in with change. Last night was good, though, a very nice meal at Bella Italia, my first time there, for Ally's birthday with three people with the middle name "James", David, Don and Whitney was followed by a nice chilled evening in with Don, Richard and the birthday boy. And there was some of Whitney's nice cake. Even though I technically don't like cake. Apparently, with my glasses off and a shave I look younger than Ally, about sixteen. Now that we're both getting old, at nineteen, I suppose that's a good thing. Still seems odd though. Raisin Sunday's been the only day this weekend I've not seen a drunk passed out on the floor of a coridoor, oddly, although I might today, Monday. I seem to have slipped to a point where I'll be unable to sleep while holding my good sleeping pattern tonight. Oh, and Rach broke up with her boyfriend, and was a bit upset about that. It's interesting how little I communicate with my family when I'm here compared to people I started to talking to from not here just before I came here. Hopefully I'll be able to make the rest of today without encountering many unpleasant encounters, unlike previous times. Raisin weekend's still a really annoying concept, if packaged with a holiday useful for pacing purposes. I really shouldn't be worn out at the moment, since I just had a week where I just the slept, but I am anyway. And still wasting uni, but I'm not able to change it. I think I might try to sleep, anyway.
EDIT: 0340: Well, that fire alarm's made me decide not to. There'll likely be another, and Nicholas informed me my honours lecture's not off tomorrow. Why is it that I don't notice any difference between wearing two pairs of jeans and wearing one?
Ah, the first intelligemt post in ages, and on Raisin Sunday, the uni's drinking holiday. Tonight I've been in bed on my laptop with headphones on, as a change of pace from the last two nights, and because people drinking bothers me. Fundamentally, it's because it makes them even less predictable than usual, and more like people I don't know, generally. And unpredictablity is one of the most scary basic things, tied in with change. Last night was good, though, a very nice meal at Bella Italia, my first time there, for Ally's birthday with three people with the middle name "James", David, Don and Whitney was followed by a nice chilled evening in with Don, Richard and the birthday boy. And there was some of Whitney's nice cake. Even though I technically don't like cake. Apparently, with my glasses off and a shave I look younger than Ally, about sixteen. Now that we're both getting old, at nineteen, I suppose that's a good thing. Still seems odd though. Raisin Sunday's been the only day this weekend I've not seen a drunk passed out on the floor of a coridoor, oddly, although I might today, Monday. I seem to have slipped to a point where I'll be unable to sleep while holding my good sleeping pattern tonight. Oh, and Rach broke up with her boyfriend, and was a bit upset about that. It's interesting how little I communicate with my family when I'm here compared to people I started to talking to from not here just before I came here. Hopefully I'll be able to make the rest of today without encountering many unpleasant encounters, unlike previous times. Raisin weekend's still a really annoying concept, if packaged with a holiday useful for pacing purposes. I really shouldn't be worn out at the moment, since I just had a week where I just the slept, but I am anyway. And still wasting uni, but I'm not able to change it. I think I might try to sleep, anyway.
EDIT: 0340: Well, that fire alarm's made me decide not to. There'll likely be another, and Nicholas informed me my honours lecture's not off tomorrow. Why is it that I don't notice any difference between wearing two pairs of jeans and wearing one?
Another one bites the dust.
Oct. 4th, 2005 05:43 pmRonnie Barker is Dead. So many snide comments to be made, so inappropriate. He really was a very funny man, and he quit when he was at the top, which is always something impressive. I hope no more of his contemporaries go any time soon.
Today's been good. Even if it has been harder getting up sans stimulants, and harder to focus. I got drugs and appointments! James should be coming over here to watch Family Guy, and I've got a new game, which should give me things to do. Everything crazy. Lecturers seem to be utterly surreal at the moment.
Today's been good. Even if it has been harder getting up sans stimulants, and harder to focus. I got drugs and appointments! James should be coming over here to watch Family Guy, and I've got a new game, which should give me things to do. Everything crazy. Lecturers seem to be utterly surreal at the moment.
(no subject)
Oct. 3rd, 2005 04:43 pmRandom things I want to happen tend to happen more often than not. This morning, after Lars Olsen's lecture, where he finally stopped repeating the same lecture he gave last week, which was interesting, and I was able to focus on it despite not having taken my medication, we made the usual comments about how great it would be to have Colin Campbell, the only man who doesn't sound less interesting when lecturing in binary, replaced as a lecturer. Colin Campbell, who I'm sure is really a nice guy, really can't lecture. Given he's one of the three maths lecturers who've been at this uni the longest, he tends to end up doing it a lot. At first he doesn't seem too bad, but then you realise that his voice isn't particularly coherent, while still being roughly monotone. His handwriting, too, is incoherent, which for a subject which revolves around the clear proofs, statementss and theorems (I think that's general enough a descripition), is rather bad. Then, after a class where you've struggled to understand him, you realise the fundamental problem with his classes. The lectures are incoherent. He seems to throw random definitions, theorems and examples at you, proving some of them, defining terms used in some, not in others, but never actually explaining why he's doing it. He seems to enjoy working out the longest and most dull proofs, with millions of similiar subscripts which seem indistinguishable, but never really explaining why. For a pure mathematician (for he is one), that is a cardinal sin. He can't explain things, he can't put anything together well in a way that doesn't seem utterly random, and his courses seem appallingly organised. So, while we were sitting there, hoping he wouldn't come in... someone else came in. She said that she was replacing him for today (no reason was given) and that she was a final year PhD student, who'd never actually lectured, but was the teaching assistant for the module, and had the lecture plan. And So she proceded to give a very 'dry' (mathspeak for just heaps and heaps of formulae to prove a point, which should be hard to focus on) lecture, consisting, in authentic Colin Campbell manner, of 50 minutes of proving a theorem that was very similiar to one in a prerequisite module, which she seemed to think some of us hadn't done, followed by 5 minutes of an unrelated different theorem. To be fair, the theorem wasn't actually the same, and it was only after the proof was nearing the end that the parallels were particularly obvious, and so we'd have needed to do it anyway. But she managed to actually make the lecture interesting, even if it was mostly just by virtue of actually engaging with the class. It was a very impressive first lecture. So, we went for lunch, after reflecting on how interesting the lectures had been, largely on the ability of lecturers. After lunch, we had the reason I have serious worries about MT3501: the so-called tutorial. I, and just about everyone I've spoke to on this agrees, think that a class which is 80 students (or everyone who's doing the module), in lecture theatre C (which is where the lectures are normally) being read out (or lectured, if you will), by the usual lecturer, the answers to the tutorial questions, is much more of a lecture than a tutorial, and certainly not the best way of teaching an honours module. This means that the only chance you get of getting work formally marked is in the class test, part way through the course, worth 10% of the course. It seems I have found my "course to rant about" of the year. Dr Campbell's classes are endurance tests, best done by having some people you get on with to make snide comments to to avoid losing all consiousness. I wish we could keep the person we had today, and it wasn't a minority opinion. At least I have a concrete wall to bash my head against and lean on. And the former is needed so much more.
Anyway, I've actually been able to focus not too bad on my lectures (while listening to music at some points, which helps) despite being unmedicated. So I think I'm going to quit all drugs for the next week. Starting this morning. Admittedly, the world is nowhere near as fun without stimulants, but this might be an interesting experiment. Beats spending all night up being sick and feeling depressed/angsty waiting for fire alarms which still haven't come along.
Thud!'s as good as all discworld books, really. Not quite finished, but Terry Pratchett's still got it. Whatever it is. Now to find someone to walk with me tomorrow.
Anyway, I've actually been able to focus not too bad on my lectures (while listening to music at some points, which helps) despite being unmedicated. So I think I'm going to quit all drugs for the next week. Starting this morning. Admittedly, the world is nowhere near as fun without stimulants, but this might be an interesting experiment. Beats spending all night up being sick and feeling depressed/angsty waiting for fire alarms which still haven't come along.
Thud!'s as good as all discworld books, really. Not quite finished, but Terry Pratchett's still got it. Whatever it is. Now to find someone to walk with me tomorrow.
